Do as I say and not as I do!

It has occurred to me lately that there is a certain amount of hypocrisy involved in this whole parenting thing. Well there certainly is in this house anyway. I spend a lot of my time nagging guiding my children gracefully on the right path through life and this does involve telling them rather frequently what they should and shouldn’t be doing.

But, do I lead by example? Am I a shining representative of all that is good in the world? I can categorically say that I am not! I am not a bad person, I try to be a good and nice person most of the time, but it would be very hypocritical and self righteous of me to say that I am a perfect role model.
So I have been thinking about this over the weekend and have come up with a few examples where I tell the children to do one thing, when I quite clearly do another.

Don’t swear!
I am not one of these people for whom the ‘f’ word is the most common word in the English language, not by any means. I do swear. Sometimes. When the children are all soundly asleep, I may utter the odd expletive, but it is fairly rare. However, there is something that overcomes me when I get behind the wheel of a car. It is like this whole other, really bad tempered lunatic takes control. I’m not aggressive, my hand never touches the horn, however, if someone irritates me in the car, I cannot help myself. What is worse is that however much noise there is in the car, I may utter something under my breath but the car always falls silent at that exact moment and they all look at me accusingly. I really do have to try harder with that one!

Eating crisps, sweets and chocolates are bad for you!
“I must eat healthier” is my daily mantra. When it comes to general meals, I do follow my own advice. But. I love bad things. I love cakes and chocolate and crisps and all those calorific, spot inducing, thigh increasing foods that I am trying so hard to steer my children away from. Not completely as I am a big believer in everything in moderation, but I do try so hard to set them a good example. On the whole, I do, except that I have become a closet crisp and sweet eater. I may stuff the odd piece of chocolate in my mouth whilst they are occupied elsewhere, almost giving myself indigestion trying to swallow before I get rumbled by one of my beady eyed brood. Otherwise, I am forced to indulge in the nine o’clock munchies once every one is asleep.

You should always eat at least five fruit and vegetables every day!
Following on from the previous point, I really do fail on this one. I do eat vegetables. I love vegetables, although there are uninspired weeks where we could all suffer with death by frozen pea over load. On the whole, I do try to eat different veggies and encourage my children but fruit is a whole other issue. I don’t dislike fruit but it just doesn’t do it for me. Not like, say, a bar of chocolate or a packet of Wotsits!

Respect your elders!
Yes children, you absolutely must respect your elders at all times. When mummy is describing certain female relatives who shall remain nameless, as things that may not sound particularly nice, these are actions that should not be copied. Not ever. Mummy should hand her head in shame. But silly politicians on television or in the newspapers can be berated whenever and wherever possible.

Don’t spend too much time in front of a small screen!
Once upon a time, before I had my lovely little iPhone, there was no issue at all.  Then this wonderful little piece of technology arrived in my sweaty little palm and everything changed.  Suddenly, I was overtaken by an addiction to all things social media and would often be found for prolonged periods of time in the toilet, hiding, so that I could tweet or read blog comments in peace.  I have since seen the error of my ways and I am undergoing a period of ‘cold turkey’ and leaving said device in my bag when I should be giving my little darlings some undivided attention.

Don’t talk with your mouth full!
More often than not, this advice is given across the table during a meal, with my mouth full, showering my children with small particles of whatever I happen to be eating at the time.  Enough said!

Don’t shout and always speak softly to people!
How many parents break this rule?  Quite a few I have no doubt.  My husband used to belong to the small minority of parents who don’t shout.  He believed that the ‘calm approach’ was the best way to deal with children and that you should never raise your voice as this makes the situation worse.  I’m happy to report that this condition did not last long, after child number three, he came to his senses and now shouts and rants like the rest of us!

Don’t cross the road until the little man is on green!
Yes the opportunities to teach our children about road safety are important as they are limited by the fact that we drive everywhere.  However, if there are absolutely no cars to be seen, you do feel the need to cross even if the little man is still red.  What can I say, I am always in a hurry!

It is really important to go to bed early!
BB (Before Blogging)  I used to be really boring  sensible and try and be in bed fairly early as my children have always been early risers.  Now, the post nine o’clock time is precious time to write blog posts, catch up with multitude of social media and I rarely go to bed on the right side of ten o’clock.  My eight year old is slightly obsessed with this and actually stayed awake one night so that he could tell me off for not going to bed at a reasonable hour.

Don’t tell lies!
Tricky one this.  Tooth fairies, Father Christmas; need I say more.  Added to that, my son’s teacher did call me over a few months back to advise me that he had upset another class member by telling him repeatedly that his nose had actually grown as he was lying.  Do I say that to my dear sweet impressionable children?  You bet I do!