A good friend of mine is getting married this year and it is the first wedding I have been to in ages, so in between browsing different sites looking for the perfect personalised wedding gifts, I got my own wedding album out which I haven’t looked at for many years. The children all enjoyed looking at it and laughed at how young everyone looked and it was nice to share pictures with them of family members who are no longer with us.
When I was growing up, right until my late teens, I was fiercely determined that I would never get married and certainly never have children. Urgh, perish the thought. When others would go all gooey and talk in silly voices around babies, I would walk away shaking my head in despair and if someone handed me a baby I would stiffen and usually, it would take a matter of seconds before said child would start screaming and I would happily hand it over.
Of course, I was wrong. Even though my first son was an unexpected surprise, as soon as he was born, my whole fear of having children went out of the proverbial window and it is just a smidge ironic that I am now a mother of four.
As for the whole marriage thing, I was still unconvinced. If I did get married (and that that was a huge IF), I didn’t want the whole meringue dress or a huge fancy ceremony. It would have to be simple. Small, with the people I love and care about, no fuss.
I guess that when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, everything changes.
Having been in a tired, loveless relationship and with very low self-esteem, I wasn’t really on the lookout for anyone new but when I met my husband, something just clicked. He made me laugh a lot, was great company and picked me up and gave me back the self-confidence that I lost and we thought so similarly about things in general, I just knew he was the one.
And he was. We had that small, simple wedding and it was a wonderful day with close friends and family. We had a December wedding as both have birthdays in December and we had snow and sunshine all in one day. No meringue dresses and not a huge amount spent. It took six weeks from booking to the ceremony and everyone chipped in to help. It was perfect in every way.
Three children and fifteen years later, we are still going strong. Of course, there have been a few rough patches along the way, I think there has to be. There are days when he drives me mad and vice versa but we continue to think along the same lines and we often laugh at our choices as they are so similar.
So as we passed this landmark anniversary, how did we spend the day? Well, the thing with children is that they have to come first, so we managed a quick lunch out together and a romantic stroll along the beach and then it was back to being parents again. But 15 years is quite an achievement and I am glad that the teenage me was so wrong about getting married and having children.