Things you need as a touchline mum

Something has happened to me over recent years.  Slowly but surely, it has crept up on me without me really noticing, but I can now call myself a fully fledged touchline mum.  People who know me well will laugh hysterically at that affirmation.  I’m not, nor have I ever been a particularly sporty person.  I don’t really do sport or exercise for that matter and I absolutely do not ever watch sport.

Marrying a self-confessed sport nut was possible my first mistake.  Add three sons to the mix and I really had to admit defeat as they are all sporty. The teen was a late developer and only really discovered a love of sport in his early teens when he discovered rugby.  His younger brothers however have been sporty from birth. As soon as they could move, they connected with balls of any shape or size and once on their feet, I have been subjected to footballs, rugby balls and all sorts of balls flying around my house and garden.

Now before you think I am being negative, I will stop your there and say that I absolutely love the fact that my children are so sporty.  They inspire me and I love their enthusiasm.  Admittedly, my enthusiasm waned a little when I was faced with the prospect of giving up my weekend mornings to sport.  But now, I love it.  Even the cold ones.  I am there at the side of the football pitch cheering whichever son it is on in their quest for football domination.  It becomes quite addictive and even though they are quite young, it is really hard not to get caught up in the drama of it all.

So now I am an ‘expert’ touchline mum, I thought I would pass on my top tips for surviving those chilly mornings on the pitch.

1.Invest in some ear muffs,a really thick hat or even some ear plugs. Yes it does get cold and those early frosty mornings can be a little bit of a strain on the ear lobes. But I can guarantee that the shouting that goes on at the side of the pitch can be a bigger strain. Now I am all for support, support is a good thing. I have no problem with a few words of encouragement and a little excitement when the team scores a goal. But some parents take it all a little far. Some of them obviously think that they should be on the pitch with the kids. Some of them are obviously commentator wannabes. Some of them just get a little bit shouty and at times, dare I say aggressive. So protect your ears at all costs from the cold and calling.

2. Something to sit on is a godsend. I kid you not. Now I’m not getting any younger but I’m not quite in my dotage yet, but all this standing around even if it is interspersed with the the odd bout of excited bouncing, is not easy and the odd nice sit down wouldn’t go a miss every now and then. I’m not as bad as some, at one match I went to recently, a gran came along for the first time to watch her grandson play and was horrified that there were no seats provided. So, in the absence of pitch side seating, one of those little camping seats can come in handy for resting your weary bones for a few minutes, but I must warn you that they are quite low and if you are anything like me, you may need a little leverage to get yourself back out again and check for mud too or the chair may become totally wedged into the ground. On the other hand of course, maybe it is easier to stand after all.

3. Enthusiasm. This is an important one. You need to send your little person off with the feeling that this is the best thing in the world even if the other team are a foot taller than them, it is so cold that they are turning blue in front of your eyes, they are likely to come off the pitch wearing more mud than you ever thought possible and yes under a warm duvet in front of the television might be a nicer place to be at that early hour on a Saturday morning.  So even if you aren’t feeling very enthusiastic, fake it.  Lots of encouragement on the way, a big smile as they go off to face adversity and some shouts of encouragement along the way (although not so loud or consistent that you annoy people) should do the trick.

4. Layers and layers of warm clothes. I can often be heard telling whoever will listen that I strongly believe that football should be played in the summer. I usually get beaten back when I say this with comments about cricket (usually by the dads), but I really do. Cold mornings, cars that don’t want to start, mums that don’t want to leave the house, mud, rain, snow and ice and games being cancelled due to bad weather. Just imagine how much better it would be in the summer; warm mornings where we can all stand there in the sunshine catching some rays. It would be so much better. But alas no, we are resigned instead to standing on the side of the pitch looking like the Michelin man. I kid you not. I never knew that I needed thermals until I became a touchline mum. Now I have thermals for top and bottom, layers of clothing on top with a coat, scarf and thick gloves. In fact I was sent some Heat Holders gloves to review and I have to say that they are the best gloves ever.  They are thermal gloves with a 2.7 tog rating and they are good.  I have been wearing them for a few weeks now and the last really cold football match, my feet were like blocks of ice, but my hands were really warm and I was really impressed.  I am going to invest in the Heat Holders socks now to complete the set.  If you want to find out more about Heat Holders, check out their website for more details.

5.  A good flask.  I mean a flask here too, not just one of those thermal mugs as I find the tea just tastes wrong out of those.  A good sized flask so that you can warm yourself up as you are supporting with a nice hot cup of tea or coffee is the best thing ever.  I often find that I am in such a rush on a Saturday morning that I am lucky if I get a swig of my tea before we are rushing out the house, usually late and it is safe to say that missing out on my first dose of caffeine in a morning does not a happy mummy make.  There will be the occasional club that sell refreshments and if you are really lucky there might even be a bacon sarnie which is a real treat, but these clubs are few and far between, so it is better to be prepared.

6.  A SatNav/good map/reliable map reader is very helpful.  Actually, more than very helpful, I would say essential.  I am quite directionally challenged as anyone in this family would happily tell you.  I am also usually running late.  These two things do not make a good combination.  So many of the clubs we play are in the middle of nowhere and I dread having to go to new clubs as we will invariable drive around hopelessly lost and even more hopelessly late.  I am sure that both boys dread having me as their designated driver for that very reason.

So there you have it, my quick guide to surviving the touchline.  The most important thing is to enjoy it and I certainly do and on the sunnier mornings, there is no better place to be.

I was sent a pair of Heat Holders to review.  All opinions are my own.