Applying for a Job

I actually applied for a job this week.  A real job with an application form and everything!  Normal to most people I know, but I haven’t applied for a job for about ten years, maybe more.  I gave up my job before I had L and since then I have been self employed and so have not had to go through this process for a very long time.

I don’t know about you but even before I have written my name, I am already panicking about the interview and what I would wear, what I would say, what shoes I would have to buy.  Then the doubts creep in and I start to wonder if I’m ready, if I have the confidence to go and speak to real proper adults in the real world again.  Several times, I have talked myself out of applying for the job with about a hundred reasons why it would be much better all around for me to carry on being a stay at home mum.

However, I have kicked myself hard and made myself apply and yesterday after hours of agonising, I finally pressed ‘send’ and it’s gone and so now I just have to wait and see.

This job is so ideal for me and the sort of job that doesn’t come up very often.  It is part time and in a local school.  I am a qualified French teacher and gave up teaching in a school seven years ago to be a full time mummy, which I have loved and I have worked as a French tutor since then, fitting in lessons around my family commitments.  I have loved being a tutor and have met some fantastic people along the way, but sadly economics dictate that we now need a bit more money coming in; namely the house falling apart around our ears and the ever-growing cost of general living.

So why has applying for this job so difficult?  I have always found job applications difficult to be honest.  Trying to remember all those dates of schools, university and previous jobs.  My memory is not the greatest and I am worn out just by that process even before I have started to big myself up to my potential employer.

Then comes the big gap in my employment history.  Seven years is a long time to be ‘out of work’.  In that time, I have successfully raised my children, dealt with more that my fair share of emergencies, learnt to multi task to within an inch of my life and  more recently I have come to grips with the world of blogging and social media.  But how do you put that on an application form so that someone will actually consider employing you?

That is the bit that I always find the most difficult, the part where you have to sell yourself.  My husband; sick of me moaning I have no doubt, wrote a letter for me which made me laugh out loud. It was fantastic, like an exaggerated version of me; not exactly untrue, but still I wouldn’t feel confident sending that to someone.  I can’t lie, not in day to day life and not in job applications either; it just doesn’t sit right with me.  I’m sure that people do all of the time, but it would worry me and just make me even more nervous.

So in the end, I wrote a letter and filled in the form.  The letter was honest and maybe a little exaggerated in places but I felt happy sending it and after checking it through a hundred times, off it went.

Now comes the agonising wait to see if I get an interview.  I am trying to forget about it, but it is there lurking in my head and I lay in bed worrying about it last night.  Still looking on the bright side, if I do get an interview, it will be a good excuse to go shopping for a new outfit as I don’t think I will be able to turn up in my ‘mum’ staple of jeans, trainers and a top!