Introducing "In a minute" and "For God’s Sake"

I would like to introduce you to my two new children.

No, don’t panic I haven’t gone and foolishly added to  my already ample brood.  Same children, simply re branding them in light of recent events in our house.

First up is the child formerly known as R, who from now on in shall be known as “In a minute!”

Don’t be fooled by the sweet sleeping eight year old in the picture.  He was in fact pretending to be asleep anyway when I took this.  Over recent weeks, “In a minute” has developed an extremely irritating trait; he seems to prefer life in the slow lane.  That is fine to a point.  However, when you have four children to get ready and deliver to various locations throughout the week, it can be just a little frustrating when one small person holds the process up.  It now takes him about thirty minutes to get out of his pyjamas and into his uniform in the morning.  I ask him to get dressed.  “In a minute!”  I remind him that he needs to get dressed.  “In a minute!”  I scream at him that we are all going to be late because of him.  “In a minute!”  I am hopping up and down like a woman possessed and he looks at me calmly and makes some smart comment about me “keeping my hair on!” Argh!

It is the same whatever we are doing.  Then there are the beloved computer games.  (Beloved to him, not me.)  It doesn’t matter what is going on. where we need to be, there is always a game to finish or save.  He can never switch the damn things off and once again, we are into “in a minute, I just need to …”  There could be a national emergency and it wouldn’t deter him from the importance of his latest Pokemon battle.

Secondly, I introduce “For God’s Sake!” or the child formerly known as L.  L is a teenager in a seven year old body.  He has the mood swings, the attitude, the dramatic eye rolling all off to a fine art.

As far as L is concerned, the whole world revolves around him.  He should be able to do what he wants, when he wants.  No grey areas.  I’m not entirely sure if it is reassuring that he is the same in school (well, I’ll let you know after parent’s evening.)

Of course, he doesn’t get his own way.  Certain things bug him more than others; such as why he should have to share anything, why he should have to eat anything other than Pizza and jacket potato, why he has to do any work that is school related when he isn’t actually at school and just generally having to go to school.  We are now subjected to a daily tirade of “For God’s Sake!”‘s, always accompanied with the dramatic eye rolling and with his hands on his hips (can’t imagine where he got that from!)

I find it quite amusing, but apparently he got a real telling off in school for saying it the other day as the teacher said it was like swearing.  His response to her?  “For God’s sake!”

I realise that these traits are part of the slow descent into teenagedom, but I am seriously not in a rush to get there again just yet.  In the meantime, I shall just call them by their new names until it drives them so mad that those phrases will be a thing of the past.  Maybe?