So it is that time of the year – back to school. Children everywhere are lurking beneath their duvets wanting the holidays to last a bit longer and parents are going crazy trying to get everything organised. This is my personal guide to preparing to go back to school.
Invest in one or even several of those thick black permanent markers. That way if like me, you realise in the first of September that you have a. lost your name labels, b. ran out of them and remembered that you should have ordered some new ones months ago c. can’t get the iron on labels to stick on with anything other than super glue, you can always scribble the names on any available label and know that you won’t lose anything.
Make sure you have all the shoes you need before the actual morning they go to school. One year we mysteriously lost one shoe (and no I wasn’t mean enough to make him hop to school – although that would have been very entertaining) and I also forgot to replace a pair of shoes once and my son had to return on the first day in his trainers. That doesn’t make the greatest impression.
Buy lots and lots of tissues. Not for the tears you will shed when they all go off to school and leave you alone but for the coughs colds and general nastiness that comes out of their mouths and noses after the first couple of weeks back. My lot always go back to school in September happy and healthy and within two weeks they are snivelling, coughing and pale looking.
Socks, socks and more socks. In fact think of the ideal number and triple it. Don’t ever ever ever buy the plain black ones as you will never be able to match them up. Make sure they are easily identifiable and that there are lots of them as those little devils have a habit of disappearing very quickly. Mind you if my job was to sit on sweaty, cheesy little feet, I might disappear too.
Be prepared for the back to school tiredness and hunger. When they return from home, fill them with food and drink and once they have had time to settle in either take them or yourself to a passes room before the witching hour begins. Out witching hour usually begins around 530 when my over tired lovelies turn into monsters who will argue, fight, shout and scream for absolute no reason whatsoever. If no padded cell is available, at least have a lock on the inside of the toilet door that cannot be opened from the outside that you can retreat to if needed.
Hire yourself a secretary or admin assistant for a few hours a week to assist you with the letters, forms, requests for money, club letters and everything else that lurks at the bottom of your child’s bag at the end of every day. I sometimes wonder how I manage to keep on top of it all (well actually I don’t all the time) and then there are all the trips, special days, dress up days, non-uniform days to remember too. My brain hurts just thinking about it.
If your child is starting secondary school, make sure you buy them an enormous bag for them to heave all their books around in. Don’t assume that if they have a locker they will use it,for some unknown reason, they will still insist on carrying everything around. Maybe one of those trolly bags with wheels is the way forward.
If you have a child over the age of thirteen do not buy a coat. There simply is no point. It may be snowing and below zero temperatures but for some bizarre reason teenagers will not and do not wear coats; particularly the male variety.
And last but no means least do not ever ask them the following questions;
Did you have a good day today?
What did you do today?
Did you do anything interesting today?
Well certainly not for the first hour it two anyway as the answer will almost definitely be a sigh, grunt, or lead to a strop of some kind. Wait until they have had some time to ‘deschool’ and chill out and be subtle in your questioning technique to attain the best answers.
Finally enjoy it, half term will be here before you know it.
Great post, I SO need that admin assistant. I reckon the letters and cheques are one of the most tiring aspects of school – and something you don’t expect before they start.
HAHAHA I recognise so much of this- great post!
HAHAHA I recognise so much of this- great post!
Where the heck do socks go? Even in our house of just 3 people they just go walkies! My parents stock about a million tissues even now that all their kids have grown up. I wonder if it just becomes ingrained after a time 🙂
Heehee, brilliant, and very like our experiences too 🙂
I bought ten pairs of socks each and chucked all the tatty, muddy, mismatched ones (WHITE socks for girls, how silly!) They can only have five at a time, I wonder how many will be left by half term?!
Witching hour starts at 3.15. And they thump on the toilet door when you lock yourself in: “Mummy! I want a drink! Mummy! She hit me! Mummy! Where are you? Mummy?!”
Too funny – especially the whole heap of forms, letters, notices. Oh my!! Why do they do that?????
Super post and photo of the boys!!
Our school is so uniform strict there are now socks to go with each season’s uniform – wish me luck in getting the right colour sock on the right child – if I can find any at all. xx
Actually just ditch the labels and use permanent marker all the time – I do!
Looking for Blue Sky recently posted…Decluttering and other reasons to be cheerful
To be honest, I do too. It is so much quicker and I’m sure that Sharpie pens were invented by a parent of multiple children
Sound advice indeed, especially the bit about needing tissues. The first couple of weeks of every term we all seem to end up catching everyone else’s sniffles and other illnesses and having to rearrange work to take time at home because one (or more) of them has been sent home ill.
Tim recently posted…The brother who never was
Yes! That is so true and one of the reasons that I now work from home. Thanks for commenting.