This is a question that genuinely interests me as it is one that my husband frequently discuss and one which we often disagree about too. It has also been on my mind recently too due to the extreme amount of money that we pay out at this time of year for all of the clubs and activities and the cheque book is looking a little on the weary side.
My children all do their fair share of clubs, both in school and out. I love the fact that they all do clubs as I think that they are getting to do something that they enjoy and it enables them to learn a new skill, make new friends and above all to enjoy themselves.
The boys do football for a local club, they have swimming lessons, they are both cubs and on top of that, they do football and rugby after school. Both boys are active and love sport, so I have always tried to encourage them to do sports clubs as I can see the benefit of keeping them active. We have often discussed the possibility of doing more; L has shown an interest in starting club rugby, R wants to do a martial art and life saving and both boys are often hearing about other clubs from friends that they think sound good. R has also restarted piano lessons this term in school and L is now talking about taking up guitar lessons. A is still young and she has swimming lessons and has just started ballet.
If it was up to my husband, he would have them doing something every single night after school, both days at the weekend and probably even some mornings before school. His opinion is that that can’t do enough clubs.
I disagree. I have seen lots of children over the years who are dragged out every night after school, get up early for morning swimming club sessions and then more again at the weekends and I think it is too much. When do they get a break? When do they get some down time? The other side of this of course is the cost, which in my experience does not come cheap. September is always a long month for us because we have to pay out for everything; some are paid for the half term, others for the term and some for the year, but when you add it all up, it is a sizeable amount. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge it at all as they get a lot out of the activities that they do, but there is no getting away from the fact that it is a lot of money.
If we pile on the clubs, are we also piling on pressure. Some children seem happy to be ferried around from pillar to post doing a variety of activities, but I do sometimes question some parent’s motives. Are they really thinking about the child? Is it the best thing for them? In some cases, of course the children make the decision that they want to do it and for some, if they excel in one particular sport, it is necessary to out in to hours for training sessions to help them develop and progress. However, I have met a few parents over the years, who it would appear, push the children into a busy schedule of sport for their own benefit more than that of the child.
The other point is that our children spend a lot of time in school and I for one enjoy my time with my children. I know from having the teenager how quickly these early years can fly by and as much as the ‘witching hour’ can be fun when they are all tired and cranky, I love sitting down with them while they have their tea, I love chatting to them about their day and I love snuggling up with them to watch a bit of television and if I am honest, I don’t always want to be running around after school either. I accept that some of the weekend will be taken up by clubs, but we try really hard at the moment to keep Sundays free as our ‘family day’ so that we have at least one full day which is for quality family time; whether that is going out for the day or having a lazy day at home.
On the other side of course, if children aren’t doing a club or activity, what is the alternative? The dreaded screens; computers, televisions and game consoles. I have no doubt that if my boys had a free run of the house between the hours of four and bed time, they would be glued to one screen or another and for some kids; even primary aged, that is the norm. At least if children are in clubs, they are engaged, spending time with other children and often gaining new skills, which can only be a good thing. In these days of children being less ‘organic’ and spending more time indoors, these clubs are for some, a good chance to spend time outside and doing activities that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to.
It does also depend on the individual child. Some children do seem to be more inclined towards clubs than others, that is certain, but as parents should we be pushing them or gently encouraging?
The one thing that I would say is that our children are incredibly lucky. The range of clubs and activities that are on offer for them is amazing and my children have had some amazing experiences through Beavers and Cubs, football and from the clubs they do at school. The adults who give up their time to run these clubs are amazing and I am eternally grateful for the opportunities my children have thanks to them. I will always encourage my children to do clubs and sports as it really helps them in so many ways, but I will always make sure that they have a little bit of time to themselves too, in spite of what my husband says.
What about you, how many clubs and activities do your children do?
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It is so sad, that these days the “alternative” is screens. The alternative when we were young, was “playing outside without adult supervision”. My daughter does her fair share of clubs, it is wonderful to gain new skills – but her alternative is playing outside with other children, coping by herself with fallings out and also, more importantly, using her own imagination to make up games. If children are always in school – led by adults, or in clubs, led by adults, or chatting to parents, led by adults – when do they ever develop as themselves. We are raising a generation of children who will not be able to think for themselves. As long as children know the boundaries, playing outside is perfectly safe and extremely good for them.
My children do zero clubs. There are several factors in this but the biggest reason is that they are just too tired after school (not that they’ll admit it!) Mine are only six and four though so this may change but as I can’t drive we are very limited in our options. Not to mention the fact that at the moment we have no spare budget but I live in hope that will change if I get more work! But I believe in leaving children to get bored as much as possible so that creativity has a chance to develop. Sometimes there is constant TV after school, but more often there are mud pies in the garden, tons of imaginative play and lots and lots of mess as they empty drawers of craft materials and stick things together 🙂 They also do lots of running in circles round the garden, climbing trees and furniture, and gymnastics everywhere and are never still for more than 30 seconds!
Great post. It feels like my kids do too many, but that’s mainly because there’s three of them! Ideally I think Cubs/ Scouts plus one sport and swimming lessons is enough. Currently they do more than that – my daughter dances four days a week and is pushing for five. That’s her decision, not mine, but I’m not going to hold her back. We don’t get a family day as we have football on Saturday and rugby on Sunday. It would be nice to have one day off.
I’m surprised your husband wants them to do more. Mine always says they should do less, but is never willing to step in and have that conversation with the kids.
They all enjoy their activities, but it does put pressure on the family (me, mainly!).
In my opinion kids should do one sport, Cubs/ Scouts and swimming lessons! But our kids seem to do a lot more – and it all adds up when you’ve got three of them doing them! My daughter currently dances four days a week and is pushing to do a fifth. That’s all her choice, I don’t push her! And we don’t get a family day at all as we have football on Saturday and rugby on Sunday.
I’m surprised your husband is so keen for your kids to do more activities – mine keeps saying our kids do too much, but he’s not brave enough to discuss doing less with them!
The acitivities are all good for them, but they do put pressure on the family (mainly me!).
My daughter’s only 5 and she just does swimming once a week after school. I think she’d like to do more, but can’t settle on what and i’m loathed to fork out for a whole term only for her to say she doesn’t like it.
I wish places would offer taster sessions.
Great post…it’s something I wonder about quite a bit. The only thing I insist on for my kids is swimming, and if they want to do something else then it depends on time and logistics…and mine are all so different! My daughter does swimming, rainbows and drama, plus violin in school and would do more if she could, but I think that’s probably enough for now. My biggest boy on the other hand has needed a lot of encouragement to do any out of school activities, though I think the social side is beneficial for him…he does swimming and rugby after school, and he also likes Forest School days. My littlest boy just does swimming at the moment but I suspect he’ll follow his sister and want do do anything and everything…when that happens I am not quite sure how we’ll fit it all i, though you seem to be managing admirably!
Great discussion. My boys are 12 and 9 and we’ve had similar debates over the years. Luckily they have similar interests so have been to the same sports clubs on the same night which is always a help. They love athletics and have just taken up triathlon competitions as well. They would say they’d like to do more than the 2 nights sport training, cubs/scouts & weekend competitions on top of school clubs, but they also know they like ‘down time’. They often ask about weekends being free/family time. They’ve both been lucky they’ve had some good after school short sport taster sessions which they’ve enjoyed.
For anyone worrying about this, (and you should never worry about this), I’d say from my experience is don’t do too much too soon. Especially sport. The body can only take so much and too much training in one thing can do more harm than good at a young age. If money is a worry (and it has been for us), then make family activities a priority and let them learn and develop through school activities and then maybe find a club to develop this skill. Our athletics club is £1 a session, whereas swimming is a lot more due to the pool costs!
I’m loving reading about the spontaneous play though. We only got a TV last Christmas, and I think the novelty has finally worn off, although, given a choice, they’d probably both say a tablet is important down time to them. I’m not giving the lego away yet though! 😉