Like many parents of more than one or two children, I often get THOSE comments about ‘having done my bit for population’ or ‘four! You must be mad!’ or ‘you must have your hands full’ and the list goes on. And yes, I agree that having four children is mad, I do have my hands full and yes I have done my bit for the world’s population but I love being a mum and I love having four children.
But I would love to have a fifth.
Actually, that is an understatement. I have an undeniable yearning to have another child. I really am feeling broody.
I say child because this isn’t just about having a baby, it’s bigger than that. Babies are gorgeous and cute, but they don’t stay like that for long. I know enough people with babies to get my baby fix at the moment.
I want another child. To complete our family. That would be it then, I wouldn’t want any more.
Part of this urge is possibly due to my youngest starting school in September. My ‘baby’ isn’t a baby any more, she is a younggirl; independent, strong-willed and determined, more than ready to face the challenges that the next phase of her life will throw at her. I’m not sure that I’m ready.
I don’t think that is the only reason. I have wanted another child ever since she turned one. It fades and grows stronger over time but it is constantly there in the background and every time I hear the news that someone is expecting, whilst I am thrilled for them of course, I always quietly wish it was me.
I have had four Caesarian sections and the consultant made it VERY clear when I had A that this was to be my last pregnancy as there had been huge health implications with having a fourth. Whilst this is a deterrent enough for my husband who has put his size tens down very firmly on the subject and won’t even discuss it, it hasn’t put me off which is possibly insanity but for me it would be a risk worth taking.
Then there is my age of course. I was described as a ‘geriatric mum’ when I was pregnant with A as this is the medical term for ladies over a certain age. Now I’m in my early forties of course there are again higher risks at stake for the baby. Again, I can justify this. Lots of women are having babies in their forties and beyond.
We could and should add finances into the arguments. We are in a reasonable place financially now but there is no denying that the ongoing costs of running school age children are pretty relentless and the addition of another mouth to feed and one that requires a whole lorry load of equipment and stuff during those early years would undoubtedly add huge pressure. That’s without the consideration that we would possibly need a bigger car and house. But we would manage, we have before.
Then there are the other children to consider. It would change the logistics of things but they are all lovely kids and I know that they would welcome another small person into the family.
Sadly this is one of those head over heart matters and I know that realistically my baby making days are over. I have considered adoption. Someone very kindly suggested that I get a puppy to which I gave a very short reply. Maybe I should stop thinking about what might be and concentrate on the four beautiful children that I am so lucky to have.
I spend a lot of the time feeling horribly broody too, I really wanted a third child but the PND/AND/GAD/Whatever I wasn’t well enough to consider it. I’m still under 40 (just). I still think it might be possible (just). DH doesn’t want to go through it again, even though he wanted another child too. Mine are 5 and 7, it would be silly to start the baby stage again. We have no space. We have no money. I can’t cope as it is. Broodiness sucks! Hugs xx
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I have to say that broodiness hasn’t hit me since having my 2nd but equally can totally see where you’re coming from. Your DH will hate me for this but there is a mum I know who has 6 and is happy to risk as many C-sections as it takes to complete her brood – such is her need to have a full family. I think she’s hoping for 8 but they’ve just bought a minibus so they could go bigger. They tried the puppy thing too (now 2 full grown dogs) and cats and rabbits…
Jenny from Cheetahs In My Shoes recently posted…Best Intentions
I still feel broody at times and my youngest is 18 ! Not sure how you’re supposed to turn it all off! But PH says I can have a puppy when Bernard goes to ui – so maybe that will help!
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Having spent half my life feeling majorly broody I now find myself feeling not an ounce of broodiness at all! I think you know when you know – either way xx
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I think some people are incredibly rude and should keep their opinions to themselves. I can’t see any reason why you shouldn’t have another if that’s what you want, and you are such fantastic parents.
I knew when I conceived my last that I wouldn’t be having any more and I think it helped me.
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I feel terribly broody when I see other babies, and I only have the one four year old. But I know I can’t have another due to my age now and also due to the complications during the pregnancy and after the birth of my little girl. I don’t think the broodiness ever goes away and gets particularly strong in our early forties as our egg bearing days are coming to an end, so I do really empathise with how you are feeling (I am 43 now). And I take my hat off to you for having four. X
older mum in a muddle recently posted…Tears in Welsh
I know where you are coming from – they’re suddenly hundreds of pregnant women (slight exaggeration) waddling around at school and I feel pangs of jealousy. Sebastian turns one next week and is very definitely our last (hubby has been snipped) but it doesn’t stop the yearning for another.
I have to remind myself what we do have and hopefully the fun we will have when not being tied down with a baby!
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What a lovely picture of two of your children 🙂 Even if you don’t have anymore children yourself, it must be lovely to think of all the grandchildren you will have from 4 children! x
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It’s a strange feeling isn’t it? There are days when I would love a third, and then days that I feel our family is complete as it is… I love that last picture, that beautiful tiny little head! 🙂
oh gosh that broody ticking clock is a loud one isnt it? I was really broody after my second and couldnt wait for a third.
What about fostering? You would be an amazing foster mum
Depending on which day of the week you ask me I might say never again, but I think that there is always a part of me would love another child. Just one more??
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Hang on a minute, you are in your 40’s?! I would have never have guessed having spent most of the day with you at Blog On!!! Looking good lady 😉
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I am so so glad I dont have his problem. If I could grow toddlers then I would but pregnancy and baby stage no way! I want fun kids, naughty ones who draw on the walls and poo on the floor!
Tired Mummy of Two recently posted…Cliffs hotel is more than just a bed
Ah me too but health issues and age are a problem for me too.Hard to think baby days are over 🙁
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I often find myself wanting another child too. My youngest is 18 month now and having a 3rd would be the perfect timing. But as you say my age (33) and daddy’s age (44) might be the reason not to do it and the logistic of it all…
Two of my cousins are pregnant though and I would so love to be pregnant too…even if that would mean that I will be getting really fat again. Plus would be my 3rd caesarean…Oh broody…
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Oh my goodness… that is THE most beautiful photo! And I’m with you. I only have two but my youngest also starts school in September and it’s a bit of a weird one 🙁 x
I love babies and kids and everything that comes with parenthood, but I can say I’m not an ounce broody at the moment. Might change tomorrow though 😉
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I don’t think anyone can tell you what to do. It’s up to you and your husband to discuss and decide. But I don’t think there’s a right age or wrong age to have kids. If you have the energy and capacity for more, you should go for it.
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Oh my goodness, I so know where you’re coming from. I always wanted three kids and for the first few months after having my daughter I felt liberated knowing she was my last, but as soon as she turned one, the broodiness kicked in. I have never discussed it with my husband because he always said in no uncertain terms there would be no more. The broodiness comes and goes (it’s not as strong now as it was a couple of years ago), but I think there will always be a part of me that wishes I’d been brave enough to have another and who will regret not going for it.
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Solo dancer
I would love the fifth child but hubby had the snip 🙁 I feel like I am forever broody!!
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It is so hard isn’t it? I am going to have to accept that I will just keep feeling like this from time to time I think as I don’t think another baby is really realistic