Things I didn’t know when I was 12

My 12-year-old son knows everything.  In fact, he knows more than me.  Or at least he thinks he does.  I am pretty sure that in a few short years, he may well know more than me but I still play the older, wiser card to put him firmly back in his place whenever necessary (which is quite often).

One thing I will say for him is that he does have an interesting and varied subject knowledge on a range of topics that I was blissfully unaware of when I was his age.

Sex.  I was so naive when I was 12 but R seems to know all about it; how it happens and most of the details, he will happily use the words penis and vagina without even flinching and will randomly ask question about sex when we are sat watching television together.  A recent example of this is when a character on TV had to have her uterus removed.  His question?  Does that mean she can’t have sex anymore? So there you go, that proves that he really does still have lot to learn. One thing that I am glad about is that he has no plans to have a girlfriend until high school, so at least he won’t be putting this knowledge to good use any times soon.

Homosexuality.  Now this is something that I had no idea about when I was 12.  In fact it was a fair few years before I did.  It was something we didn’t talk about when I was younger, well certainly not in my house.  The 12-year-old however, knows all about it, is quite fascinated by the differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals.  It is good that he can and will talk openly about things like this and we have had some interesting discussions.  I did draw a line when he asked about gay sex, however, and said that that was a conversation for another time (probably next week knowing him.)

Computers.  My son is an ‘expert’ when it comes to computers.  Compared to me, he really is.  Not only can he use one very proficiently, if not too often, he understands and uses programs and even programming that makes no sense to me. When I was at high school, we had BBC computers which were the size of a small bus and we thought they were amazing.  I remember spending hours sat writing commands to make shapes move across the screen and I thought I was the bees knees. Things have moved on a tad now however and I think if I showed the boys what I used to do, they would fall about laughing.

Mobile phones.  When it comes to mobile phones, I am as addicted as the next person but I didn’t have my first mobile until I was in my late 20s and even then it was a brick with very limited capacity to do anything much.  These days, kids are practically mobile savvy from birth.  What did parents do before the days of handing over a phone or tablet to keep their children occupied? My 12-year-old has never know LBM (life before mobiles) according to him that must have been like living in an empty wasteland, especially with the absence of games consoles too.  I did once show him my old Pac man game but he was so horrified that you played the same game over and over, he went pale at the thought.

Social Media.  Obviously, social meant actual going out and talking to real people when I was twelve. Going out and hanging out with my friends, using the actual telephone (you know the ones with the dial that were attached) to ring people.  At twelve, I was just starting to venture into town with my friends and a year later, we were allowed to go on the bus or train to neighbouring towns.  There were no Costas or Starbucks then and we used to just wear the pavements out walking up and down for a few hours before heading home.

Fashion.  Some might say that at the age of forty something, I still don’t have any idea of fashion but when I look back at photos of my twelve-year-old self, I really, really did not have any fashion sense.  I did my ‘growing up’ in the eighties and at 12, I was all big plastic earrings, starting to experiment with (far too much) make up, my ridiculously straight hair was permed and usually embellished with a large bow and the clothes.. well the clothes were interesting to say the least.  I think psychologically, part of the reason why I often go for blacks, greys and navy these days is because I overdid the colour so much back then, I can’t do bright colours now.  R, on the other hand, is very fashion conscious.  He looks at his friends and his YouTube icons for inspiration and will now only wear certain brands and styles.  He always looks good and there is never a hair out of place.  If I showed him some pictures of kids his age in the eighties, he would shudder with disgust and go and stroke his Adidas collection.

The world.    He knows more about the geography of the world than I do now. He could tell you so many capital cities, some I have never even heard of.  He astounds me with his knowledge of other countries and cultures. Even though we have travelled a little bit, he knows so much already. Technology plays a part in his knowledge of the world, the power of the Internet gives kids access to the world that I certainly didn’t have at 12. the downside of this is that he is much more aware of things that happen in the world, including some things that I don’t want him to see.  At 12, I want to protect him from seeing the results of terrorism or major disasters but I can’t.  I just have to help him make sense of it all, if that is possible.

So my 12-year-old might know a lot more about me on so many levels but what did I know when I was twelve? I knew that living my life was not dependent on a computer screen and I was always outside playing with friends.  I didn’t have to worry about what was going on in the world as I was blissfully ignorant and never watched the news or read newspapers.  I didn’t have to worry about how I looked or what was happening on social media.  There was a certain naivety about life for me at that age which I do sometimes wish for him but the world has moved on. Life for me at that age was very different but he is happy in his world and as long as he thinks he knows more than me, that is the most important thing.  As long as he is happy, that is the main thing

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