Adding structure to the summer holidays

Three weeks to go. This phrase has been used quite a few times this weekend as we are all counting down to the joy that is the summer holidays.  We are really lucky as both my husband and I work in schools and we get to share the summer with our children and have a long break from work. Six weeks of lazy mornings.  Six weeks without stressful school runs. Six weeks of not having to pack bags and make lunches. Six weeks where the term time routine goes out of the window.

However, that lack of routine is not always a good thing.

I know that for some parents, the summer holidays can be a logistical nightmare of juggling childcare and jobs and I can’t imagine how stressful that must be.

But it isn’t just the parents who find the lack of routine during the holidays hard.  Children need routine. As parents, we instigate routines from those very early weeks of our children’s lives from the time they wake up through to the times they go to bed.  All through the toddler and preschool years, they learn routines from daily hygiene through to the times they eat and do certain things. Once nursery and school starts, routine is part of their everyday lives.

So it is no wonder that when the holidays come along and there is little or no routine, some children find it really difficult to cope. Routine and structure is an important part of children’s lives.  As much as they might fight against it at times, routine and structure give them security, it makes them feel safe.  They know where they are and what they are doing.

I discovered quite early on with my eldest son that the lack of routine in the holidays had a really negative impact on him.  His behaviour patterns during the school holidays were really interesting. He was normally a well-behaved, placid boy, yet in the holidays, he would become easily agitated and irritable.

With my other children, I have seen different degrees of the same behaviour.  They love the school holidays, they love the lazy mornings, they love the time out, but they do still need some structure and routine to their time otherwise they do struggle. There needs to be a balance, some structure, some downtime.

So how do you create a routine for a time which should be relaxing and less structured? Particularly during the longer summer holiday, I always set up a weekly calendar.  It is a family calendar and we record all of the things that we have to do first of all, such as holidays and appointments.  We then add in day visits, play dates and possible activities.  As the week approaches, we then try and fill in each day with possible activities.  We might add in times to do homework or jobs around the house or garden.  Nothing is set in stone and of course, there are days when we can’t do certain things, but it gives us a focus.  It helps everyone to feel as though they have played a part in organising the holidays and gives each child the chance to choose activities for the family to do.  But more importantly, it gives a structure the holiday.

As the week approaches, we then try and fill in each day with possible activities.  We might add in times to do homework or jobs around the house or garden.  Nothing is set in stone and of course, there are days when we can’t do certain things, but it gives us a focus.  It helps everyone to feel as though they have played a part in organising the holidays and gives each child the chance to choose activities for the family to do.  But more importantly, it gives a structure the holiday.

As well as having a ‘timetable’ for the summer holidays, I try as far as I can to stick to certain daily routines such as mealtimes being at similar times, keeping to a similar routine for when they get up and go to bed (although I am a little flexible with the times.) We also have a ‘boredom jar’ in place, filled with ideas for those moments when they haven’t got anything to do.  It is a jar with slips of paper in with ideas on that they can do inside the house or in the garden and it might be something creative, something sporty or to play a game or research a topic.

I’m not saying that holidays should be planned to the minute.  Absolutely not. Children need a break, they need some down time after a hectic term in school but I think that going from the madness of term time to no structure or routine at all does more harm than good. Planning holiday time can be fun and the children enjoy being part of the decision-making process and I know that mine all regularly check our timetable and add things to it as they make their own plans, so I know that they like having something in place.

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