Can I bring a friend?

Can I bring a friend?

We have only had a teenager in the house for a matter of months and already I have seen a real change.  There is an increase in hormones, surly behaviour at times and a refusal to let me go within two inches of him most of the time.  All of these were pretty much expected.  I have done the teenage thing once already and it is standard territory.  Part of growing up and finding their independence whilst dealing with the physical and emotional side of the whole process.

The one I wasn’t expecting is the constant request; can I bring a friend?

We are still trying to cling onto family time and even though we don’t constantly impose it all of the time, there will be the odd thing at weekends or during school holidays where we try and rally some enthusiasm for a trip or an activity ‘en famille’.

For my teenage son, this is not a good idea.  Oh no.  You can see the disdainful look in his eye.  Followed by the compulsory eye roll and accompanying sigh.  You would think that we were trying to get him to do something so terrible when in fact we are trying to give them an opportunity to do something fun, whether it be a trip to a park, bowling, cinema or a trampoline park.  Then he asks if he can bring a friend.

I know that he is growing up.  I also do understand that there are some things and sometimes when he doesn’t want to join in.  He wants to do stuff with his mates, he wants to shake the confines of the family. But.  He spends most of his time with his friends.  School, sport, clubs, going out to play football.  He spends more time with his friends than he does with us.  Even at home, he is either on his phone or on Xbox live communicating with his friends.  Yet, still, the thought of spending even a short amount of time with us seems to fill him with horror.

So we have the discussion and there are times when I reluctantly agree as I am trying not to make his life a complete misery but there are also times when I stand my ground and say no, this is family time.  The result of that will be much huffing and stamping of feet and he will either refuse to come or come and then what happens? He has a really good time and I have to resist the urge to shout “I told you so!” in his face.

It is all part of course with teenagers and I have to accept that this will be part of family life for the next few years.  Having said that,  I do accept that it will be a struggle but I will keep battling to have at least some family time without the addition of friends from time to time.

Then, of course, we will have girlfriends to deal with too.  I can’t wait …

a rare moment of family time without a friend

 

 

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9 Comments

  1. March 21, 2017 / 9:07 am

    Aaagh! I haven’t encountered this, although I guess it’s kind of understandable. I suppose you have to compromise and say a friend can go along some of the time. But then do the others start asking if they can have a friend along too?! It’s good to hear that he still has a really good time when he’s out 🙂
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…My looks or my daughter’s feelings?My Profile

  2. March 21, 2017 / 8:30 pm

    Oh goodness, I’m not looking forward to this! Ruby is an only child so, without siblings I can see this is very likely to happen. I value our family time together though and will be sad the day this happens.

  3. March 21, 2017 / 10:25 pm

    I’e been through this before, I’m not looking forward to it again. Although with my older kids their friends were also my friends kids so it wasn’t so bad having them tag along.

  4. March 23, 2017 / 6:22 pm

    Aaarrghhh we don’t have this with Kian but have had this with the others. It is awkward isn’t it, although I don’t really mind them tagging along as long as they (or their parents) pay their way
    Kara recently posted…A visit to Planet Hollywood London – ReviewMy Profile

  5. March 23, 2017 / 11:48 pm

    Maxi is 12 and I feel as though we are dealing with a teenager already, just not in age! We are starting to experience the family thing and we are bucking back by insisting that we have at least half a day at the weekend doing family things!

  6. The Informal Matriarch
    March 24, 2017 / 6:56 pm

    Oh gosh, I’m a year and a a half away from having one of those teenager things. Then 18 months later, another one will join. I might allow friends a lot to provide a buffer between two hormonal brothers who like to communicate via slapping.

  7. March 25, 2017 / 8:35 am

    My teen often asks this and normally I don’t mind – we have a friend coming on holiday with us this year too which should be fun x x

  8. March 25, 2017 / 5:21 pm

    Oh God, I’m so scared about teeneagers!! I have three years to go…!! I didn’t even think about friends joining in!!

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