Going to a new school, growing up and girls

Going to a new school, growing up and girls

Well, the last couple of weeks have been an eye-opener for me I can tell you.

The teen started high school and suddenly we have seen it all; teenage tantrums, adolescent angst, the sudden need to be out with friends all of the time, pushing boundaries and more. It is a bit of a contradiction.  It feels like he is growing up and other times it seems like he is going through the terrible twos again.

It has been a bit of a roller-coaster.

I have to admit that it has hit me hard.  We did start to see signs of it towards the end of the last school year and flashes over the summer but it is no less of a shock.

The thing is, that he has always been my rock.  My sanity.  He has always had his moments but on the whole, over recent years, he has been amazing.  Great with his sister, co-operative, understanding, helpful and often happy to go along with whatever we are doing.

He was the one I could talk to about things and we often had really great and honest conversations about all sorts of things.

Don’t get me wrong, he is still amazing, he always will be, but he has become more reminiscent of a stroppy teenager.

His friendship groups have started to change and he is always on his phone.  Always.  Whether it is calls, social media or facetime. Don’t get me started on the whole Snapchat streaks thing. Trying to get him off his phone and to bed at a reasonable time has become a daily battle.  There is always a conversation to finish or something that he needs to ‘just do’.  He says just and then forty minutes later he is done.

He was meant to be going out with a friend and three girls at the weekend., I asked him why it had changed and he told me that it was a bit awkward as one girl was his friend’s ex, the other fancied his friend and the other one had given his friend a hand job.  Whilst I love the fact that he is so honest with me, I was quite shocked.  Is this what being a teenager is all about?

He wants to be out as much as possible and whereas he used to come back early, he is now wanting to stay out later and hang out with his friends.  There isn’t a girlfriend yet but he is talking about and to a lot more girls than he did at his last school.  I’m sure it won’t be too long.

I have to accept that he is growing up but it is so hard sometimes as I want my little boy back.  It isn’t all bad.  He has been plagued with injuries over the last twelve months and he desperately wants to play rugby again but is off as he has strained a muscle in his neck.  That is one area we aren’t willing to take any risks in and he is out until he gets the all clear.  He is still sporty and although gave up swimming this summer, he still does rugby training and Tae Kwon Do.  I hope that once he is back on the rugby field, that might help absorb some of the angst.

It isn’t all bad.  There is still sport in his life. He has been plagued with injuries over the last twelve months and he desperately wants to play rugby again but can’t play contact as he has strained a muscle in his neck.  That is one area we aren’t willing to take any risks and he is out until he gets the all clear.  He is still sporty and although gave up swimming this summer, he still does rugby training and Tae Kwon Do.  I hope that once he is back on the rugby field, that might help absorb some of the angst.

He has settled brilliantly into his new school. It is a long walk but he is enjoying the freedom of not having to be driven every day and walks in with a group of friends.  He is keeping on top of his homework and seems to be working hard although he isn’t particularly enthusiastic about school when you ask him.

I know that the teen years are just as hard on the teens themselves as their bewildered parents.  This is a tricky time for them with everything changing inside and out physically and mentally and of course in life too with new schools, different friends, coping with different situations.  My son is an incredible young man and I have to accept the new growing up version of him and respect that he will come out the other end of this phase.  We just have to be there to guide and support and now let him go off and learn by his own mistakes.

It is so hard though.

I have seen a big difference in my teenage son in recent weeks, he is really growing up
Photo by Nick Miller on Unsplash

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3 Comments

  1. September 18, 2017 / 8:15 am

    This does sound really hard! I hope things settle for you all soon. My boys have their moments, but their descent into teenage behaviour has been very gradual and I don’t see much of this with either of them.
    A hand job?! I’m not sure what I’m most shocked at – that kids that yosung are doing such things or that they’re willing to talk to their parents about them!

  2. September 18, 2017 / 8:24 am

    The teenage years are by far the longest and hardest of all the phases I think. Sometimes you just have to hang in there and grit your teeth. My son is 19 and we’ve come out of the other side now just about in one piece so hang in there mama! I know the sex talk thing is shocking but you have to see it as a good thing that he feels that he can be completed open with you. I’m not going to lie, there have been times when my teens talk to me that I’ve wanted to put my hands over my ears – there are some things a mother just doesn’t want to know! Argh! But actually it’s important that they feel they can. Hang in there it sounds like you are doing a cracking job x

  3. September 18, 2017 / 9:53 am

    Tough times. It’s strange because when we were kids we certainly didn’t seem to have any of the stresses they seem to have now – maybe spots, the occasional fall out with friends, but being involved with sports and music helped stay clear of a lot of angst I think. Sounds like yours is settling in to school ok though.

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