Meltdown. He’s having a meltdown. She had a meltdown. The word ‘meltdown’ has become normalised and I hear it on a daily basis from different people.
It can be used to describe a range of reactions and behaviour. I have heard it used to describe a child having a tantrum and an adult having a bad day. I have even heard it used to describe a mildly bad reaction to something not going someone’s way at work.
I have to put my hand up and say that I have even used it a few times out of context. Yet, I know what a real meltdown is and I do silently wince inside when people use it to describe a situation which clearly does not warrant that description.
The definition of the word ‘meltdown’ is an uncontrolled emotional outburst or mental collapse. Uncontrolled. Where I agree that tantrums can appear uncontrolled, they often aren’t. I have seen my own children lose their tempers, have the most horrendous tantrums when they can’t get their own way and then stop mid-scream to see if they are getting the appropriate reaction. A child having a tantrum can often be distracted out of it. That to me means that there is a level of control.
A meltdown is when there is no control. It is frightening to witness and I am talking from experience. I have experienced many meltdowns from my own son and there is no control. He has no control. We have no control. A real meltdown is a sensory overload, being totally overwhelmed by something that has happened or is happening. It can be triggered by something really small but the brain goes into overload and the fight or flight instinct kicks in.
When we experienced the first few meltdowns, it was a shock. We handled them badly. We had no idea what we were dealing with and handled them in the same way as we would handle a temper outburst or a tantrum. Now we understand what a meltdown is and more importantly see the signs of one coming, we now know how to deal with it. He needs time, space. There is no point talking to him or trying to distract him. He needs to be on his own so that he can calm down. The result is that currently, the meltdowns are less frequent and lower impact.
So back to the sudden generic use of the word ‘meltdown’. I think that many people don’t really understand the meaning of the word and luckily have never had to experience a real meltdown. I know my moaning about it isn’t going to change it and people will still use the word on a daily basis but I think it is important that sometimes we think before we use words and consider the impact that they can have.
I so agree, meltdowns are really scary and you have to develop a whole new way of dealing with them. They are certainly not temper tantrums. Not so many years ago people just used to say tantrums so I’m not sure why meltdown has merged into every day tantrums.
A very important post to share! People definitely do overuse the word for fairly mild situations. So glad that you have a better understanding of the meltdowns so they have become less frequent.
We are lucky that we don’t experience meltdowns.
Thank you for your rationalisation of the over use of this word. I am exposed to the overuse of this word on an hourly basis and quite frankly it really grates on my nerves. It is so often used out of context and seems to have found itself used in language more frequently than i like. For me the word ‘meltdown’ has a particular connotation, usually applied to the situations that you describe. I now hear it used for every time that someone has some anxiety about their situation, when they have had to be slightly assertive with someone or when someone is quite simply angry.
Unfortunately, it seems to come from the misbegotten notion that everyone thinks that they are ‘somewhere’ on the Autism Spectrum and I find that it is dehumanising the actual difficulties that someone on the spectrum faces everyday.
Sorry for the rant – 600th time I have heard the word today!
Thank you for your comment and I ritually agree. I had a conversation recently with a parent who said that her some was slightly autistic. I said to her that this wasn’t really possible, you can’t be ‘slightly autistic’, you either are or you aren’t. I think people are too quick to assume that a child has autism and meltdown is widely misused which is a real shame.