So I ‘m on another diet.
The emphasis is on another as there have been a few over the years.
I know it isn’t meant to be fun but why does dieting have to be so depressing.
Over the last few months, there has been a gentle incline every time I set foot on the scales. I do the same thing each time. I move scales to several locations around the kitchen to check for accuracy. Then on the last attempt, I lean from side to side in some desperate attempt to make the number slightly smaller. It never works.
Christmas is always a tricky time for me and my weight, I spend two weeks with a kind of gung-ho approach to eating. “It’s Christmas, I can eat what I want.” But the sad reality in January is a rather sharp intake of breath when I am finally reunited with the scales after the festivities have finished.
I am also a comfort eater. There will be a few good days when I cut back and do some exercise, then something goes wrong and I immediately go into comfort-eating hibernation mode and don’t get me started on the couple of days leading up to my period.
So the cycle continues. I have a few good days, maybe lose a pound or two, have a few bad days and put back on a pound or three and before you know it, there is another half a stone staring at you.
To be honest, I have been in denial over the last few weeks. I know I want to lose weight but there is something about the word diet that sends my brain and body into food-obsessed overload. Food is all I can think about during every waking minute of every day.
But, it is my eldest son’s graduation in a months time and I would love to lose a few pounds before then and not be afraid to be in the photos for fear of what will stare back at me afterwards.
I had put it off long enough and this week I have been trying so hard to cut down on the calorie and intake and get moving a little more.
In the past, I have done Weight Watchers, The South Beach Diet, Slimming World and even had a brief dalliance with the Cambridge Diet all with different levels of success. The Cambridge Diet was pretty grim and I actually managed to put weight on which was quite impressive. Slimming World just wasn’t for me but I did lose with the other two but sadly put it back on again a few months later.
A few years back, I gave SlimFast a try. It was a diet I had often scoffed about but actually, it worked. It set me off on a path of understanding how much I was overeating and how to control my calories every day. I lost over a stone and managed to keep it off for quite a long time. When the weight crept back on, I would do another few days with SlimFast and bring it back down. I managed to keep the weight off for over a year and it was definitely my most successful attempt at dieting.
Then there were a few stressful months and everything started to go downhill. I fell back into my comfort eating ways and to be honest, I haven’t really stopped since. The stone went back on and a bit more. My weekly meetings with the scales aren’t a pleasurable experience currently.
It is so hard though. I have been snappy, bad-tempered and irritable. I don’t actually like the feeling of being hungry, but when I think back, I never actually give myself the chance to feel real hunger as I am always picking or snacking. So hunger is probably a good thing.
I haven’t been on the scales yet as I know that a setback will undoubtedly see my running for the biscuit tin but I am not feeling particularly optimistic. I am using SlimFast for lunches, I have a fruit smoothie every day for breakfast anyway and I am trying to cut out the constant grazing during the day. Hopefully, when I finally dare to brave the scales, there will be some positive sign that will encourage me on my quest.
I just hope that next week will feel a little bit easier.
What are your top tips for helping dieting feel less depressing (apart from not going on one, I’ve tried that and it so doesn’t work)?