There are many words to describe motherhood; the majority of them positive (thank goodness).
If we were to ask you for a few examples, you might say rewarding, uplifting, exciting, enjoyable, and fun. Excellent words all, and hopefully, you can identify with them. However, there are other, less positive words, that might be part of your vocabulary when describing motherhood. Such words might include challenging, scary, and as you are probably expecting (considering our title), stressful!
Do you agree?
Most mums would. With a mounting to-do list and with little time for me-time, stress can easily take hold. For some mums, they might then handle the stress they experience in unhealthy ways, and for all we know, you might be guilty of the same. Don’t feel bad about it (or let it add to your stress) if you are, because these are traps we can all fall into, but for the sake of your health, it is important to look for better ways to handle the stress you feel.
The following are unhealthy ways to handle your mummy stress. Read them, heed them, and then consider our alternatives.
#1: Letting stress become the norm
Motherhood is stressful, and yes, that is something you have to accept on one level. However, you don’t have to let that be your norm on a day-to-day basis. If you continually allow stress in, then your health will be affected eventually. You will become tired, burned out, and suffer the mental and physical consequences. Stress will then become more of a norm because you won’t have the capacity to counter it.
Tip: As a parent, you need to place a priority on your health. The better you will then feel as a consequence, and the better you will be able to cope with the stressful demands of motherhood. So, boost your health by eating well, exercising regularly, and taking time out for yourself occasionally to refresh your tired mind. Then look at what is causing you stress, and try to find a way to reduce it. In most cases, it shouldn’t have to be the norm, so consider these common parenting stressors and create an action plan to get on top of any that are relevant to your life.
#2: Handling the stressful demands of motherhood alone
This is something many of us are guilty of, but why do we do it? Well, we often battle through our stresses alone because we don’t want to appear as if we aren’t coping. We want to look strong in front of our friends, family, and the other parents we see at the school gates. We don’t want to appear weak because we are afraid other people might judge us. And so we struggle on, becoming more tired and more stressed as we do so. As a consequence, we might then fall prey to our worst nightmare and show others that we aren’t coping because of the way tiredness has decreased our capacity to parent effectively.
Tip: If you relate to the above, then we get it, we really do. However, you need to know that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad mum. People shouldn’t expect you to have the infinite capacity to cope with your many demands, so don’t be afraid to bring other people in. Ensure your partner shares parenting responsibilities with you, and work as a team. Let the in-laws play a part in helping you too, as well as your own parents. And talk to your parenting friends and ask them for advice and support when you need it. Motherhood is tough, but it doesn’t have to be a lonely position. When you need help, ask for it! You will feel better if you do.
#3: Turning to addictive substances
To help you get through the day, you might fall prey to unhealthy temptations. Caffeine is a biggie, as this can give you more energy to cope with your stresses throughout the day. However, the more caffeine you drink, be that through coffee or an energy drink, the more dependent you will become. This has consequences on your health, including a raised blood pressure, and a higher risk of a heart attack. You will struggle to sleep too, and that will only add to your stress problem.
Another addictive substance people turn to when stressed is nicotine, although it’s the stress-relieving physical act of smoking that is as much to blame for the addiction as the substance itself. As you probably know already, smoking can severely shorten your lifespan, with a higher risk of cancer, as well as the increased risk of cardiovascular and respiratory diseases. And then there’s alcohol, which is fine in moderation, but when used as a means to calm the body and mind on a regular basis, can quickly become part of another addiction. There are long-term consequences to your health as a result of drinking, including depression, heart disease and some cancers.
Tip: Caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol are short-term remedies to fight stress, but in the long-term, they will add to your stress should you become addicted and fall ill because of them. If you are already struggling with any of these addictions, you should speak to your doctor for advice. You should look online for advice too, perhaps reading articles such as this one on getting help for alcoholics if you know you have a serious problem in this area. But addicted or not, you should look for safer alternatives to deal with your pent-up feelings of stress. You might want to go for a walk or hit the gym to clear your mind of your stressed-out thoughts. You should drink more water if you need to boost your energy levels. And you might use any of these effective stress-relievers in place of the unhealthier alternatives. Your children need you around for as long a time as possible, so let them be your incentive for looking at safer ways to manage the stress you are feeling.
Finally
Stress is something we all have to deal with, be we parents or not. However, if we deal with it in the wrong way, then we will add to our stresses because of the damage to our health. Think about your life then, and the way you manage with stress on a daily level. Do you let it become the norm? Do you handle your parenting demands alone? Do you find comfort in those things that are only going to hurt your health in the long-term? If so, follow our suggestions and find better ways to manage the stress in your life. Especially as a mum, you will be able to cope better with the parenting demands you face if you do.
Take care, and thanks for reading.
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