What’s the best way to handle teenagers and alcohol?

I ask this question after a half term week where we managed to have two different teenagers (one of them wasn’t even mine), vomit in two different cars after nights out with their friends. Not fun.

As a parent of a teenager, this is a question you are going to have to ask yourself at some point as most teens succumb to the lure of alcohol at some point during their teenage years. I know I certainly did and looking back, I can now see why my own mother was very unimpressed on those occasions when I rocked up at god knows what time of the morning in a very poor state indeed.

I suppose that it is a rite of passage.  Suddenly, as a teenager, they have more freedom, some independence and parties, nights out with friends are the normal thing to be doing for many of them.

We haven’t had it too bad so far …

The older teen has been fairly sensible, we did have one night when we had to go and find him at a friend’s house where he had passed out and that was a long night of worrying, wondering if we should go to hospital and an awful lot of vomit.  Fortunately, this was a one off and he was so ill afterwards that I think he did learn his lesson.  GCSE results night ended with a lot of vomit, but he wasn’t in such an awful state and was up bright and breezy the next morning.

The younger teen isn’t such a social animal and is still only 15, but has one friend whose parents let him have camp outs in their extraordinarily large garden and we did have a couple of those events that ended with a rather sick young man.

We have always tried to give them a sensible outlook when it comes to drinking.  We are not big drinkers, we have the occasional bottle of wine, or a beer in the summer, but it is quite rare. I never deliberately set out to be teetotal and teach them never to drink.  We just don’t often fancy a drink and I certainly don’t fancy the inevitable hangover the following morning.

Interestingly, our attitude towards drinking hasn’t really made a difference to them.  Although, we are their role-models to a point, I think when it comes to teens and alcohol, they are far more influenced by their peers.  It takes a very strong person to go to a party or a night out with mates who are all drinking and saying no, I suppose.

In spite of the fact that we don’t really drink, we have given the boys opportunities to drink at home.  We usually have beers or ciders in the house and on special occasions or if there is a significant sporting event on, we let them have a few drinks.  I feel that this normalises drinking for them, it isn’t that we are encouraging them but rather saying to them, that it is okay to drink sometimes, not all the time and not excessively, but some of the time.

We also try to make them aware of the circumstances of excessive drinking.  Sadly, there have been a few incidents in the last few years of heavy drinking sessions that have ended badly and in one case tragically.  Whilst I don’t want to scare them to death, I think these incidents  are worth talking about with the teens so that they can see first-hand how bad things can be if you drink too much.  That way they see the risks involved.

If you search teenagers and drinking alcohol, the health advice is that teenagers shouldn’t drink. Alcohol use during the teen years can lead to a number of health and social problems.

When you read this advice, it can make you feel that you are the worst parent in the world for every allowing your teenager to have ever drunk a drop of alcohol.  However, the reality of the situation is different and I always worried that if we forbid them to have any alcohol all, this would have made them more curious, more likely to want to go behind our backs to drink.  At least, at the moment, they do talk to us about it and seem to listen when we talk to them.

I’m not really sure whether we are doing the right thing, it is a tricky stage to parent, that is for sure.  Hopefully, we will make it through this stage intact and without too many nights of vomiting (I so don’t enjoy that part of the process!) Once the younger teen has come out the other side, I am pretty sure his younger sister will be waiting in the wings and I have to say that as a girl, I do worry more about her when it comes to this stage of the teen years. So I am bracing myself for those years, but in the meantime, I will keep doing what I’m doing in the hope that it is the right approach and always keep a bucket handy just in case.