End of term came along and we all welcomed it with open arms after what feels like the longest term ever. I am desperately trying to get into some sort of festive mood but it is eluding me at the moment. I feel like I am going through the motions but not really feeling it. We have the tree up, I have spent the usual ridiculous sums of money on presents and the food just keeps on coming, but I am not feeling Christmassy. Yet.
But what I am looking forward to it having some quality time with my family. We are lucky that on the whole, we all muddle along quite well together and of course we don’t yet know what after Christmas is going to look like. Like most people we aren’t going mad. We might do a cinema visit on mass but the rest of the time will be spent at home. We don’t know if we will be able to make our annual festive trip to see my husband’s family in Wales. It is a worrying time and with us all attending three different schools and the boys being in hospitality jobs, we don’t want to risk passing on any unwanted germs to older family members.
It did occur to me today that this might well be the last Christmas as we know it. Our daughter is almost a teenager now and although we haven’t had the ‘Father Christmas’ talk yet, this will definitely be the last year of her ‘believing’. I think we have done quite well to get this far. It is a weird feeling to think that my youngest child is almost too old to believe but there is a small part of me that will be quite relieved to not have to sneak around in the early hours of Christmas morning anymore. We have had lots of magical years and I think that maybe we are all ready to move on to the next stage.
It will also be different next year as the older teen will have done his first year at university. He is heading into the final throws of sixth form and now he is driving and working, he has become an independent young man. I know (well, I hope) that he will come back for the Christmas holidays next year, but he will undoubtedly be wanting to spend time with friends old and new, so I think this might be the last Christmas when we see so much of him.
So things are changing and moving on. But I am not going to feel sad, I am simply going to make the most of it and enjoy the next couple of weeks and try and find my festive feeling, I know it is hiding in there somewhere.
