Same-sex couples have become part of American society, but many couples continue to face discrimination in their communities. While gay couples have had more success becoming parents either with surrogate for gays or through adoption, they are still facing a stigma that heterosexual couples do not face.
Avoiding Situations That Cause Discomfort
Gay men often turn to surrogates so they can become parents. After the U.S. Supreme Court legalized gay marriage, more organizations have opened up adoption and foster care for gay parents. Unfortunately, about two-thirds of gay fathers face discrimination and mistreatment from people in their community. Gay fathers turn to one solution: avoiding situations that create discomfort and discrimination.
Children Face Discrimination
Gay fathers notice their children also face discomfort and stigmas in their communities. Their children often avoid making friends because they fear what could happen to them when their friends find out they have gay parents.
In a national study about gay parenting and stigmas, about a third of the families adopted or fostered their children. Nearly 40 percent of gay parents were first in heterosexual relationships and had children with their former partners. The other 15 percent had a surrogate.
Not All States Offer Equal Protections
While the Supreme Court protected gay marriage, protections for gay parents vary around the country. Gay fathers and lesbian mothers should have the same rights as hetero parents, but some communities are not welcoming to families with gay parents.
Some states provide exceptional legal protections for gay marriages, adoptions, custody, and surrogate parenting. Some states also have anti-bullying protection for gay and lesbian families and their children. In the states with fewer legal protections, gay fathers experience more active discrimination from people in their communities, especially from family members and in local churches.
The states with more protections have more gay parents who turn to surrogates to have children. In more restrictive states, gay parents struggled with adopting or gaining custody of their children from their previous heterosexual relationships. In restrictive states, gay parents have issues with parenting status, and they have problems simply because they live a gay lifestyle. In a study that found gay parents faced stigmas, the researchers could not determine if the stigma was because of being gay or parenting while being gay.
Most of the gay fathers in the study group were white, but the researchers believe that racial and ethnic gay fathers also experience issues from people discriminating against them in their communities.
What the Problems Show
Despite gay marriage being legalized in the United States, gay families still experience discrimination and stigmas. Heterosexual parents do not experience the same problems. Despite providing healthy and loving family relationships, gay fathers experience more discrimination in their churches and other religious institutions.
Unfortunately, many gay men choose not to remain childless because they do not want to be mistreated in their communities, and they don’t want their children to experience discrimination at school, in church, and around the community.
