I am a woman who needs her sleep. Technically, I know we all do, but some people can manage with less than others. I need sleep and several hours of it, without it, I am irritable and generally bad-tempered. Sleep deprivation really should be used as a form of torture. When I signed up for this whole child rearing malarkey, I was told by many people that you didn’t get much sleep for the first few months after having a baby. More like the first few years.
My mother often uses that term “rod for your own back” which always makes me feel so much better! We have never left our children to cry as babies. I take my hat off to people who manage the controlled crying successfully, I really do. We did try it, but it just wasn’t for us. So all of our children have co-slept with us for the first year or so and then moved into a toddler bed around eighteen months. Once in a bed, the bedtime routine is story and cuddles and we stay with them until they fall asleep.
When my youngest son made his first appearance in the world, his persistent loud screams soon informed us that he was going to be unique. He certainly is. He is the loudest, the cuddliest and at times the most obnoxious of all my children. I love him very dearly but he is the worlds worst sleeper.
The persistent loud crying lasted for several months until he was diagnosed with lactose intolerance. I strongly believe that the difficulties of those early months set him on a rocky road of unsettled night times.
For the first few years of his life, he never slept through the night; usually waking up several times each night. More often than not, I would wake up in the morning and find myself hanging off the end of his bed, freezing cold or he would be snuggled up in with me in my bed.
I know in my heart of hearts I should have been harder on him, but sleep deprivation is a terrible thing and you get to a point where you will do anything to get a couple of hours sleep. The other problem that I had was that he was and still is, incredibly loud. When he starts having a tantrum, the whole neighbourhood knows about it. With two other children in the house that was another justification for sleeping in with him.
When I became pregnant, we knew that we needed to get it sorted and he now shares a bedroom with his brother, who is a brilliant sleeper. We got a bit tougher on him and things have improved, he usually wakes up once or twice but goes back to his own bed on the whole. My daughter is nearly two and is in her cot bed, she is nowhere near as bad as her brother, but usually, wakes up three or four times a night.
This week has been particularly tough as they have all had coughs and so we have been rotating around each of them trying to get them back to sleep. Unfortunately, my daughter’s room has a number of very squeaky floorboards and so often, I get her back to sleep and then wake her up again whilst trying to escape! Last night, on my fourth escape attempt, I was sliding along the floor like a worm in desperation. The things you do to try and get some sleep!
Good grief woman I don’t know how you do it!! If I’m up more than twice my mind is foggy and my feet stumbly! This week for us has also been horrid with silly coughs and colds… not as bad as yours but bad! Sending sleepy vibes and litres of (imaginary) calpol your way!
Oh my goodness! You are doing really well. My little one was a terrible sleeper – 15 months of bad sleep deprivation (we co-slept too). After she became a wriggly monster in bed – I transferred her to the cot in her own room and did gradual withdrawal to help her to learn to sleep. It worked in the end – but many months of work. Ps sleep deprivation sucks – I have been a very shouty mummy at my husband!
I really sympathise. People who think they know what sleep deprivation is like because they’ve spent the odd weekend up partying have NO IDEA. After a few months, it’s like existing in a slightly different world. It happens around you, but you’re not quite there. And all the time you’re responsible for keeping little people safe and well. I’m lucky that while I don’t think I slept for more than 30 mins at a time for the first 4 months of Joel’s life (he turned out to be lactose intolerant too), he then started sleeping well. Jessica is due any day now and I’m dreading the lack of sleep. I hope things continue to improve for you x
Sleep deprivation is the worst, Iyla was the worlds worst sleeper until she was 7 months and I spoke to a sleep expert because things were so bad. I did sleep train her but in way I felt comfortable with – I’m not going to lie, she cried a lot for three nights but I was desperate. It was still a really slow process, she started off waking twice then when she was 10 months she just started sleeping through. Not getting enough sleep is awful, it affects everything. I hope you manage to get some soon 🙂 x
I’m a totally different person when I haven’t had much sleep – cranky doesn’t come close – as I empathise with you! My neighbours daughter hadn’t slept well at night since birth at at 2.5 yrs has just gone through the night for the first time and my neighbour seems like a whole new woman!
There is light at the end of the tunnel – honest xx
You’re doing so well, its hard to function properly without decent sleep isn’t it. My little one was being a nightmare, waking 8 times a night until recently but like a switch being flicked she went from that to sleeping through up to 15 hours a night.
It’ll come one day, soon I hope xxx
My daughter didn’t sleep for the first 14 months so I feel your pain, it is sooooo hard to keep going on so little sleep!:-) xxx
People no its best all round not to engage me in conversation before 9am on the best of days. A bad night and its midday! Good luck. it has to improve one day doesn’t it . .
ps. You are on the BritMums blog this morning in my ‘highlights’ of the week with this post my dear –
muchos love x
I can really identify with alot of the content of this post. Your comments about crawling along the floor like a worm did make me smile…it’s the worst thing when you’re nearly at the door, and suddenly they cry out again. Talk about sinking feeling!! Wishing you at least a semi-sleepfilled night someday soon.