Do 11 year olds need iPhones?

I have been asking myself this question a lot recently, which may seem a little strange but we have come to that time in my son’s life when he “can no longer live” without a decent phone.

I am pretty sure that he could manage perfectly well without one and that his life and quite definitely mine will possibly be impaired by yet another gadget in our lives. However, he moved to middle school last year and I reluctantly agreed to him having a phone as he would occasionally be travelling on the bus. However, I chose a fairly basic phone. It did what it needed to do and was fairly inexpensive. He was thrilled at the time and where has said phone spent most of its sorry existence for the last 18 months?? Gathering dust, out of charge on the mantelpiece. Every now and then, he would dust it off, charge it up and make an effort to use it but it didn’t last long. The screen was too small, the games too boring, it wasn’t very user-friendly and it really lacked general appeal.

According to him of course, all of his friends have got ‘decent’ phones and I have to admit that ,that is probably the truth. Quite a few of my friend’s children have amazing phones, much better than mine. I went to a Year 5 prom in the summer and I was gobsmacked by the amount of children who had the latest phones and really expensive ones at that, in fact I would say the majority did. It made me realise why my son’s wasn’t gathering dust; he was probably too embarrassed to take it out of the house. However, I did have to stand there open-mouthed at the room full of selfie taking 9 and 10 year olds of which the majority had better phones than me and wonder whether it was really necessary. Do 9, 10 or 11 year olds even need a phone, let alone a really expensive one? At what age do children actually ‘need’ a phone?

I know we now live in a digital age, my own children have more than their fair share of devices but do they need phones? From a safety point of view, it makes sense if your child goes out to play, travels to or from school or anywhere else on public transport or does a lot of after school activities. But I wonder how many of the children at that prom needed it for that reason? Not many.

I survived my childhood, teenage years and beyond without a phone. I was in my late 20s when I had my first ‘brick’ and ok many years later I am more dependent on my phone than I would like to be but I am proud that I lived my life outdoors, having fun, talking to real people face to face rather than living my life through a small screen.  Yes, I know things have changed but if we buy our children expensive phones at such a young age, are we sending them the right message? Is it more down to the fact that the kids of today are often very spoilt and whatever they want, they get? Then you need to consider the risks involved with having a pricy phone; are you going to have to take out insurance if there is a risk that the phone will get damaged or broken? Then there is the risk of theft.  A bit doom and gloom I know,  but it is worth thinking about.

So back to my son.  R wanted an iPhone.  We looked at the prices and he counted up his saving, we worked out that he would need to borrow some money from us to afford it.  He went away and gave it some thought, watched his brother merrily spending his birthday money on a variety of things and came to the decision that he wanted to buy a phone but something that would leave him with a bit of money left over.  I was quite pleased that he had made the decision himself and that he is also willing to pay for his own phone and he is so happy with it , it really doesn’t matter that it isn’t an iPhone at all.

L has just turned ten and started middle school last week.  He has mentioned a phone a few times but wasn’t that bothered, that was until his brother’s new phone arrived when his little face lit up and he asked if he could have the old one.  Inside I am screaming “no”, but I reluctantly agreed, he is going to be on the bus sometimes and let’s face it, it will probably be back on the mantelpiece in a few days.

I had a conversation with a friend of my sons recently about taking phones into school and he said that he snook his phone into school every day even though he should take it to the office while he is in lessons.  I asked him why and he said that he might need to ring his mum if he was ill or had forgotten something.  I mentioned the fact that the school did actually have phones and he looked at me as though I was a total lunatic and said that they were too old-fashioned and he would prefer to use his own.

So back to my question: do 11 or even 10 year olds need iPhones?  I think the answer is a resounding no.  I certainly don’t think that they need expensive phones at that age?  Many of them have tablets, iPads, laptops, computers so why do they need a phone as well.  I know that it is each to their own, I have given in because of peer pressure, all of R’s friends have phones and I know that he feels left out.  I still don’t feel completely comfortable with the decision but I hope that I won’t live to regret it.