You might look at the face of my son and think that he doesn’t look like a stroppy teenager. But my gorgeous eight-year-old certainly acts like one sometimes. R has almost always been my rock. He is the calm when everyone and everything else around me is stormy. He is the sensible one when all of the others are crazy. He’s the one I can talk to, reason with.
Until recently. Suddenly, he is the one causing the arguments and the storms. He is the one who is constantly winding his brother up. He is stroppy and argumentative, always having to have the last word. Really has to have the last word. And coming from someone else who has to have the last word, that does not sit well with me.
Although he is only eight, I understand that it is the beginnings of the ‘tweenage’ years. That time when the child begins to look beyond their years and to those older children that they want to emulate. For me it makes me feel a bit sad as R has suddenly developed a split personality. One minute he is still the lovely cuddly, friendly, happy little soul and the other he is difficult, argumentative and stroppy. We are locked in constant disagreements about things that I wasn’t expecting just yet; games and films that aren’t suitable for him, going out and off with friends, wanting a lap top and a mobile phone. He is eight for goodness sake, not eighteen.
But is suppose that is how it is now. Children are exposed to do much more these days in comparison to what I was exposed to when I was eight. When I think back, although it is a dim and distant memory, I was very naive and young when I was eight. I was wearing dresses and playing marbles. I went out on my bike with my rabbit in the front basket. Although eight year olds are dramatically cooler than I was back then, there was an innocence that seems to have been lost with the children of today.
Peer pressure, older siblings, games, films and the television all have a role to play in this change I’m sure, but. I don’t have to like it. I am quite strict too. I won’t allow R to watch things that are inappropriate for his years. We have endless discussions about films and games that his friends watch and play and how unfair it is that I won’t let him. But I won’t and it is something I feel quite. strongly about. At eight, children should be using their imaginations, having fun playing fun games that inspire their imaginations and or encourage them to learn. They shouldn’t be playing games where that are killing people and experiencing blood and gore. Some of R’s friends do watch and play inappropriate games and films and it definitely has a negative effect their behaviour, development and the way they interact with their friends and that isn’t a good thing.
So for now I’m afraid that R will continue to be an eight year old. A child. And will be treated accordingly. That is not to say that he will be allowed some privileges, but if he thinks that he will be getting a lap top or an iPhone for his ninth birthday, he has another thing coming!
Great post – my 7 (nearly 8) year old daughter is displaying very similar traits and it can be heartbreaking sometimes….she goes from wanting cuddles to stomping off to her bedroom declaring ‘This is the worst day of my LIFE!’
I want my baby back…;)
p.s. she also has a laptop and phone on her birthday list. NO way, but perhaps it is because mummy is on hers too much……
Ha ha yes that could be said of me too! It is heart breaking as you want them to enjoy being a kid! I’m not trying to stop him from growing up but at 8 I think they should be kids! Plenty of time being a grown up and that’s not all its cracked up to be!
My 8 year old is my calm and my rock too! He turned stroppy and difficult back in the winter, but has come through it now. He has a laptop – he bought it himself! I am totally with you on the games and TV – they need to be exposed to appropriate stuff at their age. X
It must be a difficult age then! I suppose they are suddenly aware of the difference between being a child and a teenager! I k ow that R is wanting to be more grown up, I just need to strike a balance with him I think!
its so difficult isn’t it, my eldest is 10, and he has always been my loving caring sensitive one… that was until recently too. He still pretty much tows the line most of the time, and I try to be as lineant as possible, I do allow them (more than I should) to play on the computers, but I do try to keep them grounded and young and carefree too, like I say so difficult when they are at this age and I struggle much more now wondering what to do than I ever used to when they were small 🙁
It is very true that we worry about how to handle a tantrumming toddler and yet the obstacles we have to overcome as parents of teens are far more difficult, yet there is so little help and advice for parents of teens. I have a 16 year old too yet I don’t have all the answers as they are all so different. I am hard on R sometimes bit we have to remind ourselves sometimes and them, that we are doing it because we love them and we want them to grow up as civilised human beings!
They do grow up far too fast these days. You’ve given me a lovely glimpse of what’s to come. Hope you are o.k. x
I relate so well to your thoughts here – my seven year old is going on 17. It all started with the ‘whatevers’ and has made me realise how quickly they grow up.
I posted a small blog about it too a few weeks ago. It’s here if you’d like to read it:
http://bachelormumstyle.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/little-girl-turns-teenager-whatever.html
I look forward to reading more adventures about your tween.?
Its . The tweenager !! .. they grow out of it