My husband took the children down to South Wales this weekend to see his parents and he decided to meet up with his brother and his children and go to Afan Argoed Country Park which is a few miles away from his parent’s house. In Neath Port Talbot, Afan Argoed is a place that I haven’t visited before but it looks and sounds beautiful; forest, mountains, walks, cycle paths, a real haven for the lovers of the great outdoors. We have been talking about going there with the children for a while and I was glad that my husband has finally taken them.
The children it seemed, had a different idea. They were all in a screen-induced haze, iPad imprints on their hands, happy to keep their bottoms firmly glued to the nice warm sofa. Life is so easy when you are indoors. Apparently they moaned and groaned. They didn’t want to go. It sounded really boring. Why did they have to go?
The thing about my children is that they love the outdoors. The boys are both sport-obsessed and love nothing more than heading outside armed with a ball of some kind. They would run off to play football with their team without a second thought. During the summer months, they are out in the garden, off exploring on their bikes, building dens and exploring the woodland near our house. Yet, when it comes to going out somewhere with the family; it feels like we are literally dragging them out of the house kicking a screaming.
The winter months are partly responsible. I blogged a couple of weeks ago about my own dislike of the cold and this year more than ever, we seem to have gone into hibernation mode. School, work and life in general has seemed exhausting an when we are not running off in different directions to football matches or sitting on the side of a swimming pool at the weekend, we have enjoyed chilling out in the house. We try hard to limit the screen time and we do but I know we have all got a bit too comfortable with the indoor life.
My husband fought his way through the protestations and moans and hid the devices away and they all went out and had a great time. The boys love meeting up with their cousin and of course, they filled their lungs with fresh Welsh air and ran around like lunatics. A was a bit more cautious due to the large number of dogs around (she seriously dislikes animals of the canine variety). Once again it was parent one and children nil in the ‘who’s right’ stakes.
It does worry me though and not just for my own children, but for their generation and the generations to come. How many kids don’t have a love of sport to force them out blinking into the sunlight. There will be some for whom exercise will be moving both thumbs and very little else and that makes me feel sad. Play has taken a whole new meaning with so many kids being plugged in and wired up to their various devices and chatting to other parents, this seems to have become a normal part of growing up. Aged 11, R is no longer content with playing, he is now discussing the possibility of social media and apps which allow him to chat to his friends out of school. Many of his friends are on Kik and Snapchat, Instagram and some on Facebook and I have to say that even as someone who regularly uses social media myself, I am on very unfamiliar ground when it comes to my own children using it. Also, when did chatting on social media constitute play?
My childhood was spent almost entirely outside. From a young age, I was always out and about on my bike or running around. I loved it. I know that life had a different slant to it back then; no computer games and restricted children’s television meant that play indoors really was play, my mother didn’t have the worries that today’s parents have about safety and it really was the norm for all kids to be outside more than they were in.
I know that there are initiatives to get children out more and that is a positive. As parents, it really is up to us to encourage good habits from an early age. Set a good example, by getting out ourselves. Limit the scree time as they get older and show them that it is all about balance. I understand from my own experience that it is all too easy to let the tv and computer games to act as babysitter and entertainer in one, especially when there are things that need doing. We need to work harder to teach them the value of being outside, if we don’t, I worry about what will become of children. Are they all destined to be pale and desensitised by screen time, never experiencing the thrill of climbing a tree, riding a bike, fishing, building dens or camping out.
I know that in a few weeks, when the sun has made a few more appearances and the garden no longer resembles a bog, my children will be out and about again and I am determined that we will be venturing out at weekends again exploring local parks and countryside. I want to get out and get the children out. I want them to see that life is all about balance and that it is okay to have time online or on a screen as it is undeniably an essential part of modern life, but it should be a small part of a day where you are doing other things too.
I don’t want my children to be part of the inside generation. Being outside is an experience that we all need in our lives, but especially children.
I couldn’t agree more Nikki. I remember being outside from morning until tea time every chance I could get when I was a child. I must admit my boy is very outdoorsy and if he gets the chance he’d rather be outdoors. We were with his cousins yesterday and my boy took a handful of army themed toys with him and they had so much fun over in Shropshire. They played in the garden digging a trench (!)and in nearby woods too. It was brilliant to see them having ‘proper’ fun. However I am so guilty of letting him on the ipad a bit too much when I need to get things done and he is already on ‘popjam’ a social media ap with this school friends. You’re right because it is all about balance as I think if you deny them the screen time then they’ll only want it more. It’s a lot more complicated ‘these days’ eh! xx
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It is so much more complicated as there are too many choices and too many distractions for kids today. Sometimes it would be lovely to just take all of the devices away for a few weeks and let them rediscover normal life; maybe I should give it a try?
I agree too. Luckily we’re on a farm and at the moment there’s nothing more that N likes more than being out on the farm with his dad, and assuming he follows in his older cousins footsteps, he’ll continue at love.
However, age 4 he has just discovered YouTube, and in the evenings and mornings, that’s what he wants to go on, and gets stroppy if he isn’t allowed. I’ve now said, he can choose one thing to watch morning and evening, and last night it was fine. As was this morning, when he just did his own thing and played. It probably doesn’t help that I’m usually on the laptop when I come in from work. My OH isn’t a talker, so to me it makes sense when I’ve got lots to do rather that just sit with him asleep each evening in front of the tv. Last night I played a bit with N, we all had pancakes together, and it was nice to not have him moaning about getting on the tablet.
I do remember my mum putting in place a tv restriction for my brother and I. We could have 3 hours of tv a week (if we planned it well, we could share that, so 6 hours in total), but we didn’t really need that limit because we lived on a housing estate with a brilliant green outside the house, that all the kids aged 4-16 would go out and play on. We’re on a farm, but other than that, N’s nearest friends are his cousins a mile away. Luckily he’s happy to play out on his own in the garden when he wants to go out, but once he’s older, I wonder if that’ll change.
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That sounds like an amazing experience for a child to have and hopefully as you say, he will continue to love being outside. I’m sure he will in that environment. Youtube is a funny one. My kids say that being on YouTube isn’t part of their screen time as it is like watching TV which I don’t really limit as they don’t watch a huge amount. I suppose they are right although I don’t tell them that of course. I also spend a lot of time online and I know that i don’t set the best example although I have a switch off at the weekend and early evening now too so that they see that I have limited screen time too.
My kids absolutely love it when they’re out but getting them there is a real challenge! At 12 and 10 they spend a lot of their indoor time glued to their screens and that’s without any social media (not allowed). I am adamant my kids won’t spend too much time online but many parents I know just accept it, it’s a tricky line to balance.
It really is tricky and yes it would be easy to let them spend all of their time on devices as my life would be so much easier, I just wish sometimes that they could understand why I try to limit it and make them go out and do other things.
Loved this post Nikki, and I agree with every word. I was having a very similar conversation with a friend at lunch yesterday, so it’s definitely something that’s a big conversation topic among parents. She has the challenge of trying to fairly divide screen time equally between three children and one computer, which is another issue in itself! We have fallen at the relaxed end of the spectrum with T – he has my old first generation iPad to use, and has done for a couple of years – and while we’ve always encouraged him to do a variety of activities, we’ve never set a limit on screen time so now that he’s 6 he’s actually pretty good at self regulating. He’ll do half an hour or so, before moving onto some other kind of play. Whether that lasts as he get older remains to be seen, I suspect our harder times are ahead! If we’re ever having a rubbish, cranky day though, getting outside is what fixes it, even in cold or wet weather. There’s nothing like fresh air 🙂 x
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I think that it depends on each child’s personality too. I have one son who would be on a screen 24/7 if we let him but the other one is far more laid back and he loves his screen time but will happily come off and he would much rather be in the garden with the rugby ball. I think that self regulation is great but of course they become influenced by their peers as they get older too and that can have an effect.
Great post and amen to that! O totally recognised the protests about not wanting to go out and then loving it. Our kids are the lucky ones – they play sports at the weekend and they have parents who encourage them to get outside and get active. There are so many others who aren’t encouraged and will quickly become couch potatoes who are totally averse to the pleasures of the great outdoors.
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I agree and as much as I may moan about the amount of time I spend at the side of a spots field or swimming pool, I am so glad that they are sporty as without that, they really would be couch potatoes
I can only remember being at home for meals and bed, the rest of the time I was out and about in all weathers too. Nowadays children spend so much time inside, I must admit that I’m partly to blame as going out when it is freezing isn’t all that appealing.
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I know what you mean as you can’t always let them out by themselves and it is nicer to stay in when it is cold and wet during the winter. I am guilty of that too